Key Rules-Dating Advice for Women

Here is some practical advice for women who are dating men.

• Have your recently broken with your boyfriend or spouse and started on a new relationship? Set the emotional baggage and your past aside when you meet your date.
• Do not indulge in talking too much about your painful history.
• Be yourself while you converse with your date. Well, you may not suit the perfect picture of the woman he prefers to be with, however, your dishonesty may lead you to frustration at a later date.
• Never lose your individuality while you are dating. No man wants his wife to agree with everything he says, whether she likes it or not!
• Do not start a conversation on marriage or starting a family until you are so sure that he is the one. Also, assess whether he would be comfortable talking about these with you at this point of time.
• Sometimes, men are slower when it comes to long term commitment. Do not make him feel trapped in the relationship. So, give the person sufficient time to make up his mind.
• If he passes a compliment, gracefully accept it; tell your thanks and move on to some other topic.
• Always be on time. It never pays to be late for a date. This is a gesture to tell your man that you value your time with him and are looking forward to meet him.

How to Win Back the Love of Your Ex

If you love him and don't want to lose him, you have to take the first move towards contacting him to begin the reconciliation process. You have to be careful when contacting him or you may intrude thereby trigger a non-responsive attitude from him. Talking about contacting him trying to get back your ex, you may act in a way that reveals your anxiety and desperation, that's the last thing you need right now because you may act in a way that will make him feel you are a pain in the neck.

As you elude from contacting your spouse, he will begin to miss you rather than think of you as one who is intruding into his feelings. He sure will begin to think of you more positive and will definitely miss your loving presence.

Like I was saying, you have to accept responsibility for your actions by apologizing. He may want to see proof on whether you have actually realized and admitted your error, fault or mistakes. If not you are making things difficult and you may as well forget about getting reconciled to him; that is if you was at fault or the breakup was caused by an argument (exchange of words).

Perhaps you're saying Donald you don't understand, it's more complicated than only apologizing (which is mostly the case nowadays), then you are going to have to do just more than apologizing. You know best how bad (deep) the situation has become definitely you may need to contact a relationship expert to solve and put an end to this conflict.

Mistakes happen all the time, it's surprising how only a little mistake could cause such separation from our spouse. Let's identify the steps to get your ex boyfriend back and keep him. What you should do right now can be found below at the resource box. Good-luck.

12 Qualities Women Want in Their Men

12 Qualities a woman looks for in a man

1. Honesty - This is high up on the list and is a must for guys. When I say honest I mean being honest about everything. If your partner asks you 'Do you like my hair' a response could be 'I like it but I preferred it when it was longer.' When you are honest about everything you will get a reputation for being honest and you will get more respect and gain trust a lot quicker. If you are found out with one lie then the trust will disappear and it will be hard to gain back.
2. To be able to protect - According to the women I have spoken with they want to know their partner will be able to protect them physically in times of danger or trouble. That's not to say women are weak it's a security thing and knowing that their partner is capable or willing to protect them at all costs gives women a little more peace of mind.
3. Get up and go - Women don't like men who have no motivation to do anything with their lives. They want a man who has passion and has goals in life and has got the motivation to follow their dreams.
4. Belief - Believe in your wife/girlfriend and support and encourage her in everything she does.
5. Sense of humour - This one obviously depends on each couple as everybody has a different sense of humour but women like men who can make them laugh. That's not to say you have to be like Robin Williams, just someone who has a sense of humour and exercises it often.
6. Reliability - This is another one high up on the list. You've got to be reliable if you want your partner to stick with you for the long term. If she has an evening meal planned for you and you promised you'll be home by 7 and you come strolling in at 8, this is not being reliable. Yes, work is important but more important is the woman who loves you enough to prepare a meal and make an effort on a Friday night.
7. Commitment - An absolute must for any long term relationship. If you are not committed then there will always be that little doubt in the back of her mind asking if you are really serious about the relationship.
8. Respect - There's no question of this, if you disrespect her you may as well throw the relationship out of the window right now. It's not only respect for her but it's respect for yourself as well. If you let people walk all over you then you are not respecting yourself and this is a turn off for women.
9. Attuned to feelings - For the old fashioned man out there one of the main things you were missing was the ability to stay in tune with your partners feelings. If you are attuned to your partner's feelings then it shows respect, caring and love. That doesn't mean to say you let them walk all over you it just means you are in touch with her, and you know how to handle the emotions, upsets and excitement etc.
10. Attractiveness - This is something you are born with and it's also something that is very subjective. Everyone has an attractive feature about them and rest assured someone will be attracted to you because of it. However if you let yourself go and don't really care about yourself, you'll be dropped like a hot potato.
11. Assertiveness - Woman can stand up for themselves very well but they still like a man to be assertive as well. Women don't like weak men, so grow a pair and stand up for yourself and your wife.
12. Faithful - Shouldn't even have to be said here, but so many men think they can get away with being unfaithful and it not affect them. You will never be respected once you've been unfaithful and there is absolutely no excuse for it.

Change in the Relationship Balance

Relationships have a life of their own. That really hits home for people who are working hard on enhancing their sense of self-worth. What happens is that at some point there is resistance from others in their relationship circle. An example is someone who is working at losing weight only to find that the spouse keeps bringing home food that tends to undermine this endeavor. This example shows how important it is to pay attention to what happens in between people. Yet all of us, when we begin to think about it, are very aware that indeed life in the families we grew up or in the relationships we are in now have a predictable pattern to them. That is because relationships organize people.

Growing up you no doubt knew what could be talked about and what not in your home. After a while you could predict the response that you would get depending on what you did or said. All families are like that because all relationships develop a system of their own. The difference is that in some homes the rules are flexible and reality based while in some others they are inflexible and arbitrary.

Now if you making personal changes because you want to increase your self-confidence it will help you if you simultaneously keep the big picture in mind. By training yourself to also think "relationship system" you will have more success. You will be taking responsibility for your own growth and at the same time be aware how, what you are doing, is impacting on the relationship balance. Just seeing what is going on will help you stay more in charge of yourself.

Making A Difference

Life should include organization and directions, these are essentials for the journey we face. An epiphany clears the way when we are reminded that our life is composed of choices. A sound mind plays a significant role in how well we function. A sound mind consists of peace, wisdom, patience and mastery. Consider a clear mind and conscious that speaks to you positively and walks you through targeted circumstances.

Turning back for the majority is not an option. Always believe in yourself and don't quit. Ordinary people do extraordinary things everyday so don't allow anyone to use the fear factor and dominate your thinking. You are all that you were created to be and you have a bright future.

Learning how to work with others does not mean your character has made you a star, but your character has valuable traits that contribute to your ability to work through many circumstances. We cannot prepare in advance for negative forces wanting to invade our lives. Experience and awareness for critical moments are essential in decision making. Learning how to prioritize issues of importance, urgency and factoring in a timetable means proficiency and stability. Understanding when your plate is full, what areas your expertise covers and when to say, "No" demonstrates critical thinking.

The mere idea that love never fails and is replenished forever is incredible. Who we really are is revealed in our character. Why do we participate in acts of kindness with some of the same people we experienced hurt? Love over shadows hatred. We move at an accelerated pace when we choose to walk in forgiveness oppose to vengeance. Evil is harsh and absorbs the inner man's soul. Expect nothing for selfish motives.

The mind is the battlefield. Clinical depression is more than just feeling bad. It should not be mistaken for mental illness. Depression is a disease that no one wants to talk about. Depression is a medical disorder, a combination of physical and psychological symptoms. About ten percent of U. S. citizens will experience some form of clinical depression while living a normal life. Depressive illness exist in our communities, in the workplace and may include family members. Always leave yourself a way out, walk in love, power and a sound mind.

I Love My Co-Worker - Now What?

Although falling in love with a co-worker look like a great and wonderful thing, there are things that you still need to consider before you push through the idea. There are a couple of pointers that you got to check on, consider and decide on.

Marital Status Check - A Must!
Yes. She looks flashy. Her legs are simply gorgeous. When she talks, it's like you here angels are singing. And when she looks your way, it just makes your day! You practically are attracted to her. She is one of the major reasons why you go to work. But do you really know her already? It matters to probe. Before she totally sweep you off your feet, it's best to ask around first. For all you know she might be married. Or worse, divorced thrice! It helps to know that you are not crushing anyone else's balls by making your way through winning her heart.

The more information you get to know about her, the higher the possibility of you having more things to consider. Think about it. If she's divorced, does she have kids? Are you willing to have a relationship with someone who's got an extra baggage? If she's married, we both know that she's off limits. And if you happen to be someone who doesn't care about destroying a family just to get laid, you have to be ready with the possible horrible situations you are going to put yourself into after your actions. Well, if she happens to be single and free, you are one lucky bastard.

If It's Against Company Policy...
This can be one serious problem you will have to face the moment you decide on pushing through having a romantic relationship with a co-worker. Are you ready to lose your job? We all know the reasons why most companies do not promote and support office love affairs. It may come across your professionalism and affect your work ethics. There will be times that it'll be helpful, yes. When the two of you are in a good mood, it may do you good and produce good outputs. However, if you two end up fighting, which is not impossible to happen, you two may become a liability to your company. So, if having a romantic relationship with a co-worker is not allowed in your work place, you have a decision to make. Will you go for it and leave your job, or will the two of you keep it a secret and just wait for the moment your little secret to get exposed?

To Step Forward or To Stay Put?
The moment you have weighed every possible pros and cons, it will always be up to you. Will you take the big leap or just stay where you are and try to forget about your feelings? Either way, you will still get affected. Whether you get brave or go chicken, you could still get a dose of pain. So, if you really love her, I suggest that you go for it and face all the consequences of your actions. You might lose your quest for love but tomorrow's another day.

Loving Myself First!

Loving Myself First!

Loving Myself First!

There is nothing more than to love ourselves first! Most unhappy people have a very poor relationship with themselves and many times, they did not know that they do not know how to love themselves at all?

When our mind is full of excuses and weak desires, our inner self will probably be weak too. Often, we lean on the support of others in the hope to get that comfort. Such moment don't last long. The only way we can achieve anything is when we are committed to improving our relationship with ourselves first.

After all, what can an empty vessel contribute when it is empty? Only when we filled our own vessel with lots of goodness and strength, we then can in turn motivate and contribute positiveness to the people around us!

We must learn to raise our acceptance to people who are better than us, because they will inspire and motivate us. Never be afraid to unlearn in order to learn. Aligning our state of mind and emotions, we will start to experience better overall life results with the people around us and as well as the way we go about doing our task!

It is only when we stop being victims in our own life and take full responsibilities with our own life results, and that is the time when we unleash to be a quiet leader in our own life, innovating good changes all year round. We have the absolute power to use good words to affect our mind and emotional states. Using word 'must' fire off a greater sense of urgency and motivation!

How To Approach Women

How To Approach Women

You should realize before you approach women that most attractive women are BORED OUT OF THEIR MINDS by most men. One of the reasons for this is that guys have NO IDEA what to do when they run into an attractive woman, so they do the same default thing: Dumb look, compliment. Also, you can’t BORE when you first approach women. If she’s most likely got a boring life like everyone else, and you do something that every one of the other 499 guys she’s going to walk by this month did, then you’re probably not going to attract any special attention. If you just start with the idea of NOT DOING WHAT OTHER GUYS DO you will be WAAAAYYYY ahead of the game.

This is fun, isn’t it? Bet you never thought you’d be thinking like a woman, did ya? What are a few things you might do to? Maybe NOT be like the other 499 boring, predictable, “nice” loser guys that have approached her? And BE interesting, attractive, attention-getting in a way that makes her feel like you might actually be someone to provide her with a pinch of spice in her life?

As you may have already predicted, I have a few more ideas (but don’t let that stop you from thinking about this on your own as often as you get a chance). To start with, you’d probably want to get rid of the “Wow, you’re a beautiful woman, and I’m just an average guy admiring you” vibe. That’s not helping. Next, you could take a moment and think about how a guy that she would feel ATTRACTED to might act, then choose that style.

My experience is that if you take an attitude of “I guess fate has good taste putting us in the same place, now let’s see if you have a personality to match your looks”, then stir in a generous portion of Cocky and Funny, you’re likely to do well.

Tips to Connect With Someone Online

Choose the right nickname. You may think that nicknames allow more anonymity in chat rooms and messaging services; however your nickname says loads about your personality, self-respect and worldview. Having a sexually explicit nickname may seem funny to you, but the chances of dating will be severely reduced. In fact, you might find that people avoid you like the plague.

Be honest about yourself. If you have struck up a relationship with somebody that you like, don't create an image of yourself that is false and pretentious. Remember at some point, the two of you are going to have to meet, and when the truth is discovered, it will be the last time you hear from that person, physically or online. Also, avoid embellishing too much on your history or achievements, otherwise you will be spending a lot of time and energy creating more lies to maintain the illusion which can only be done for so long. Once truth finally comes out, you can say goodbye to your relationship.

Avoid taboo topics. Unless you and your online partner are of the same political persuasion, rather avoid politics. While learning about each other's cultural and religious diversity is a good way of getting to know each other, it is important to keep conversations on these topics healthy and to steer away from insults, no matter what your beliefs may be.

Could He Want a Relationship? His Intentions Made Clear

Calling Card

It's no secret. Guys want to keep in close contact with the girl they're interested in. He wants to hear the sound of her voice, wants to make plans for their next hook up and wants to know what's going on with her. Frequent calls are an excellent tip off of where he's heading.

If you're the one calling more often than not, you might have a problem. Try holding back and see if he calls you. If he still doesn't, things don't look very bright.

Dating Game

If conversations simply turn around what he's doing with his buddies and he never even bothers asking to see you, you might be in for a sad ending to this tale.

The guy who wants you will make it clear. He'll often check to see when you're available to see him again. He'll also plan for fun and exciting dates he knows you'll enjoy. After all, he wants to please and impress you. His goal is to ensure you fall for him.

Sex Partner

This one's easy. If right from the start your relationship revolved around sex and has remained there, you're being used; plain and simple. You're a sex toy and nothing more. If you want more from a relationship, move on.

While sex is important to every relationship, when that's all you have going the romance is sure to fizzle... no matter how hot the sex is.

Male Attraction Underground Secrets

A girl meets a man and starts chasing after him praying that by going after him, he will see that she is the best match for her and he will fall in love with her. Unfortunately, as we typically find out, this is not the ending we wanted. In most cases, the man gets sick of being chased and wants to find some other woman.

Make Him Believe That You Are A Hard Catch-

It doesn't matter if he is absolutely stunning, don't fall so fast for his surface appearance, and show that you are easy to arouse. It's better to show a feeling of indifference, and show that you are not swayed by his looks. Hot guys get all the attention from women, and are always praised by A LOT of them. As soon as you show disinterest, you will make this guy think twice about you.

Go For A Quick Flirt And The Back Off-

Give him a little taste to get him going, and then quickly back off. This little method is called 'push/pull'. You move towards him, and then quickly back off forcing him to move towards you. It works most effectively when you do it quickly and without too much effort. The mistake that most women make when flirting is hanging around a guy for too long when they first meet a guy. Do things DIFFERENTLY from what the other women do, and make it CLEAR to him you are backing away, and watch how he reacts by moving back towards you.

Why Haven't I Found My Mr Right?

So if you are one who is sitting there waiting and thinking "Where is my Mr. Right?" then you may be doing a few things wrong. This article highlights some of the common mistakes women make, and how to correct them. See if you have been the perpetrator of any of these mistakes.

1. Past relationships have hurt you too bad and you don't feel like getting out there and looking. Do not let a past painful relationship control the rest of your love life. Just as every person is uniquely different, every relationship is also different. Don't let your fears hold yourself back from experiencing something good.

2. You think that there are no decent men out in the world. This cannot be further from the truth. It is true that not every man will be "Mr. Right," but surely there is the perfect man for you out there somewhere. You just need to have faith in that and start looking for him.

3. You're afraid of rejection. This is one of the most common reasons that people don't get out into the dating scene. But you will never know how much you will be rejected - if at all - unless you actually get out there and try it. In all reality, it's the same for most guys as well; men are just as worried about being rejected as women are. Finding someone special is all about risking rejection and taking a chance at finding love.

Couples Resorts

Resorts are places frequented by people for recreation and relaxation. These places help people unwind and take a break from tedious routines and deadlines. Resorts that cater to couples are couples resorts. A couple visits these resorts for a honeymoon, anniversary or a holiday.

Each person has a particular idea of enjoying a holiday. Their ideal vacation can include a lot of outdoor activities and adventure. Some may find a romantic holiday resort their ideal holiday location. The place to visit is decided totally by what couples enjoy doing. They can have a peaceful beach holiday at any number of beach resorts. Some of the beach resorts offer all-inclusive packages guaranteeing a relaxing stay without unexpected expenses. You can pick a package and not worry about extra expenses.

First Blind Dating Tips

Love is extravagant, and yet so important!

What do I mean by this? Simply that you are an essential part of the process of bringing someone together with yourself in love and harmony.

This is just a fancy way of saying to be prepared for your first blind date. The idea is that you should collect all information possible about the person you will be dating in advance.

Of course this advice can be used for any kind of date, and not just for blind dates. By showing that you share many of the same tastes as your partner, it helps a great deal in "hitting it off." So, let us consider what will help us in making the best impression on the first date. Always remember that good first impressions count for everything.

First of all, if you want someone to choose to spend the rest of their life with you, then he or she should know you as you really are. Do not try to be someone you're not.

On the other hand, when you go on a date you want to look and dress your best. This is not to say you should wear something you do not normally wear. If you normally wear jeans all the time then wear jeans, but make it a better grade of jeans than you normally wear, and certainly not torn or dirty.

Such little niceties will show the other person that you not only care about your appearance, but that you also care about what other people think of you. After all, if you don't care about what your partner thinks, you probably should not be going on a date with him or her!

On a date, do not constantly talk about yourself. At the other extreme, do not allow the other person to feel that he or she is on an interview or is being given a "third-degree." You need to balance the two-way exchange. This means that you must be able to make conversation as well as be a good listener.

Take some time to get to know the other person. Find out what you have in common with each other. Discover your mutual passions and interests. Do these things, and much of the conversation will fall into place.

Do not show an undue interest in the other person's past if this seems to make him or her feel uncomfortable. You are trying to create a common future with this new person and this means that the past is out of the equation.

Also keep in mind that there are things you should do and ways you should behave depending on the person. If you are a man, remember to open doors for your date. Of course, if she shows a preference to do these things herself, then let her. if she is a true feminist, she will even want to pay for her own meal!

But seriously, always be on time when you pick the woman up and be prepared to pay for the entire date. Don't take your date somewhere that you can't afford, and never let yourself be put in a position where you must ask your date for money to cover the bill. This is a disaster if it happens.

Writing as a man, I am of course speaking more from a man's point of view so any ladies who are reading this should accept my apologies. I try to be impartial as possible. One thing that is not a matter of opinion is that it always is a man's obligation to be polite.

Although general conceptions of women's equality have changed over the years, the old rules still apply to dating, especially for blind dates.

The Search for Mr. Right

Does Mr. Right exist? Is he out there somewhere? Will I find him?

Mr. Right is a key subject for many women and an inspiration of hope on a daily basis. Yes, probably exists Yes, he is probably your match. Yes, you WILL find him! Of course in all our lives we have goals, aims, ambitions and desires small and large. It is these landmarks and goalposts that keep us positive and busy. It is what makes us human. In recent years the terms Mr. Right and Miss Right have become over used and clichéd. It is almost as if we have a chart on our wall, an extensive check list or a resume of specifics that the person in question must submit to get his foot through the door of the "potentials" interview.

Most of us would deny we are pushing away Mr. Right as we hope that chance will take a hand in bringing Mr. Right to us. Many of us accept that we have a small but insignificant "list" and yes, we accept that there are some requirements on it which are nonnegotiable, but they are fairly minor. Or are they? The fact of the matter is that as the decades have passed by, we have become far more sophisticated, as humans, as individuals, as lovers and mates. We are adults, we have a good salary and a nice home and are well educated in the ways of the world. Therefore it is only fair that we seek someone to match, to fit in, to adapt, to accompany, to facilitate, right? Therein lays the issue.

The fact is that Mr. Right also has a check list, of his wishes and needs, only a small one of course, but a list all the same, and he is ticking off your assets as we speak. He wants someone young, someone well educated, someone good looking and in shape. We are indignant, how shallow we cry. Typical man we sigh. Yet are we any better? Look at your list and look very carefully at what or who constitutes your Mr. Right. And then look again. Are you sure first of all that your tick list is achievable? Yes, or are you willing to negotiate? Okay so you are happy with your list. Then what?

Are you willing to go out and get your Mr. Right or are you waiting for him to come to you? Many women tell me they are waiting for Mr. Right. The word "waiting" concerns me. By waiting it means men come to you by chance, perhaps by design and you tick off their assets, your check them out and then cast off anyone who doesn't match your list. Maybe you do, but remember this my friends, Mr. Right is looking for his Miss Right? How much work have you put into being Miss Right or should he accept you as you are and fit in around you? If he did slot in to your life would he really be Mr. Right or an accouterment, an asset, a trinket that you would get bored of?

The thing I am asked by eligible men more than anything these days is, "where have all the nice girls gone". Think about those words carefully. These men are not asking where the doormats went, the meek mice, the housewife slaves. Not at all. No what they are asking is where all the women went who don't have a huge checklist as long as their arms. Most men simply want someone to love, someone who they can dote on in their own ways and who they can feel special and share with. The problem for them is that they are not finding it because they are constantly under the pressure of women’s check lists. They are told they must adapt and fit in, they are trying to fulfill their part of the list bargain and then they are faced with the Miss Rights out there.

As a potential Miss Right you owe it to yourself to complete a few tasks. Take a long, hard look at your list and ask yourself exactly how flexible you are being. Secondly look at who your Mr. Right is and how truthfully obtainable they are. Thirdly, don't kid yourself about your own potentials but don't compromise on ideals either. Fourthly, bring yourself out into the open and go after your Mr. Right.

Don't play the waiting game because you do not want to spend the rest of your life knowing your Mr. Perfect is married to someone else when he could have been yours. And finally, compromise is the key in reality, for all the things Mr. Right must be, try and balance that with attempting to be something your Mr. Right doesn't want to miss.

Man As Hunter in the Dating Jungle

Do you know, as a single guy I have been asked many times recently by girls if I can explain basic male behavior in terms that we can all understand. Laborious chats over much wine have led to my lady friends confessing that all is not well in the world of reading what men are thinking. So the Singles Files decided to take a look. It appears that even in our advanced culture, the sexes still present the simplest misunderstandings. Men constantly appear to be a mystery when dating, and even as a man, I agree that we can be as frustrating and perplexing to the uninitiated. So it's back to basics for us today.

Millions of years of evolution haven't clouded human nature and even the most skillful women dater will have encountered male antics that defy belief. 'He acts like a Neanderthal' she may say. And do you, know, she isn't far wrong. Why? Simple, man is a hunter; that is what he was designed to do: Hunt. Which essentially means that in the world of dating the man wants to hunt you, even if you are the easiest catch on earth. Women forget this fact and ignore it at their peril. To get the man you want, you have to make them chase you and feel like they have achieved something when they eventually get to put their arm round your waist and give you a perfect kiss. If that sense of achievement is missing, your hunter will go on searching.

Okay so let's move on to the Savannah plain to explain further. How do we know what men want and like. Well all hunters want to catch the lioness, she with the thick mane and feline grace, queen of the jungle. Men will convince themselves that they could catch the lioness if they so wanted because they all like to think they are king of the jungle. But today they are too tired to do anything about it. That is exactly what happens when your hunters gather in bars together. They discuss the ones that got away and their prowess out in the field. However, you know and I know that the hunters out there are fooling themselves. They know deep down that they don't have the ability to catch the queen of the jungle, but they like to think that they might, maybe.

No, instead our intrepid hunters will seek out the slightly (but not necessarily) easier target, the more satisfying and certainly beautiful prey, the Gazelle. The gazelle you see can be found in packs out any weekend night with their Gazelle friends. Gazelles live next door, or across the street. They are beautiful creatures and fairly obtainable: But not without a fight. So the chase is on. Which of our hunters will success in capturing his gazelle this weekend? The more they hunt and chase; and the longer they are made to chase, the more rewarded they will feel when they finally succeed. And inevitably our hunter will settle down and give up hunting. But only if his Gazelle makes him feel like he has succeeded and is a true catch. Now our hunter believes he caught his Gazelle all by himself, but maybe just maybe, the Gazelle let herself be caught. Eventually.

On the down side of our make believe Savannah is the antelope. Now our hunter wants the lioness and he tries to convince himself he could capture her if he really wanted but it is too much like hard work. He really knows that he will capture his Gazelle in all reality, but when Gazelles are scarce and hard to come by, he will go for the easy target, the antelope. Down in the bar on a Friday evening there are few Gazelles about but the antelope is grazing nearby so he pounces and achieves a result straight away. There is no chase, no thrill and hardly any sense of achievement, but it staves off his hunger for now. Tomorrow the hunt will begin again.

The antelope doesn't fair too well out of this scenario but she was never going to put up too much of a chase and he was never going to be satisfied with the outcome. So at the next opportunity your hunter will be off seeking the gazelles once again, with a sly look in the direction of the lioness in a wishful thinking kind of way. And what if the hunter does finally get his gazelle, will he be satisfied? Invariably yes. The lioness is out of reach and far too scarce. The lioness may represent perfection in our hunters' Savannah plain and he may even think about what if every now and again. However if he did catch the lioness, she would probably eat him alive! But the man as hunter will be extremely happy with his sense of achievement. The antelope will always lose out because she cannot provide our hunters with what they need and desire most - chase, thrill and an implicit satisfaction with the end result.

Where it all goes badly wrong is when the lioness, gazelle and even antelope go hunting the hunter. The hunter doesn't know what to do and is not designed to cope in such situations. The hunter will be frightened and run away. So the important point to make is that allow the hunter to feel he is doing the chasing, even if secretly, he isn't. The hunter will still feel like he deserves the feeling of success and achievement even if you led him to you.

Our urban jungles are full all such creatures. Hunters are everywhere. The unbelievably attractive and desirable lioness with her Manolo Blahnicks? Our hunter lusts after her but will rarely obtain. The beautiful Gazelle next door who puts up an excellent enough chase that the hunter will eventually settle with. The dowdy antelope is simply too obtainable to present a challenge. Now do not feel demeaned by this because of course your hunter is still the Neanderthal but if you think of our world on this level it becomes easier to get inside a man's head. Men do love to chase girls and they will always fall for the one who makes them chase the longest and hardest. It's nature in full throw. They do hanker after the catwalk beauties in our society but men are not so stupid, in reality most know they have little chances of success. Only the most confident men will even bother to chase at all.

So if you want to bring your hunter into the fold, keep him chasing you girls, long after he thinks he has caught you, still keep him chasing. You maybe the lioness or the Gazelle but he will thank you for it. After all, maybe just maybe, men are the simplest of creatures to please. Whatever you do in our dating jungle, never allow yourself to be the antelope.

Watch your step girls; it certainly is still a jungle out there.

Tantalizing Kisser - Here's How to Get You There

Have you noticed that guys tend to back away a bit when it comes time to kissing you? Are they all soft and romantic one moment then they're looking for excuses to back out the next? Do you know you're lacking a good technique when it comes to your kisses, but you don't know what you need to change? Here's an up close and personal look at what goes on behind those lips.

Pucker Up

This is where you want you lips to be at their softness, not only to the touch but in the pressure you apply to that pucker. This isn't your Aunt Betty you're kissing so don't press your lips tightly together. You want this to be gentle and tender, just a brush of your lips against his.

Moisture Good, Slobber Not so Good

If you have a little over-salivating problem, you'll want to be careful to swallow a lot before you get close. Also avoid positions that have you leaning over him. Your best bet is to look up to him rather than down.

Say Ah

Some girls will open wide when they see the guy approaching with a kiss on his lips. This isn't a dentist exam, this is a tender kiss. Barely part your lips, just enough for his lip to fit in.

Move Into It

Don't just stand there stiff as a board. Let your body melt into his, lean into him and allow your hands to wander. Comb your fingers through his hair and pull him closer by tugging at the nape of his neck.

No Rush

Don't dive in and stab him with your tongue. This isn't an attack. Let your tongue slowly and tentatively slip in, nibble his lip with yours, then tenderly slip your tongue in again.

A great kiss can be incredibly seductive, so take your time and savor it.

Fatal Mistakes Almost Every Woman Makes - Killing the Attraction

Do guys respond favorably to you on that first date, but then something goes awry and you know you've just killed the attraction? How many times have you gone through the same thing, each time wondering what you did wrong? Will this continue or are you ready to put a stop to the nonsense and really have a great relationship with a guy? Learn the mistakes women make and how to steer clear.

Pressure Cooker

I recently witnessed a young girl of fifteen talking to her sixteen year old boyfriend. She greeted him with a nasty comment about his attire, remarked that he was late and then huffed at his plans for the evening. The guy initially took it in stride and apologized to her, but when her back was turned, he gazed at the sky and seemed far from happy.

Incredible how young we start to get on guys' backs. If you're attracted to him, take him as he is. This isn't a fixer upper.

Miss Please

Then there is the girl who wants it so bad, who wants to make him happy and needs desperately to have him appreciate her that she goes far out and beyond to do things for him.

Being nice is great and guys will appreciate it. Being a doormat or simply being there to cater to a guy's every whim is unnatural, unhealthy and won't really get you anywhere. Truth be told, he's likely to see you as just desperate anyway.

Get a Life

When we meet a great guy and want to hang onto him, we can sometimes let everything drop in order to have more free time with him. This is a great way to build resentment for him, because you'll one day throw the fact that you gave so much up for him in his face. But in addition to this negative cross to bear, you're also giving him a fine chance to get good and fed up with your constant presence.

Give yourself your life back and give him a chance to have a breather every once in a while. You'll both be happier for it.

How to Make a Woman Happy by Fulfilling Her Fantasies

Have you ever wished you could figure out exactly what the woman in your life was thinking so you could make her happy? Has she ever reacted to you in a very unusually way, while you had absolutely no clue of what suddenly went wrong? Have you ever thought you could find out how women think and what makes them happy? Well read on, because I've got some answers for you!

A common feature among women is that they all have secret fantasies. A Man would normally speak of his fantasies, and even go after them, while women have a tendency to bottle up or even deny their fantasies. One way to keep your lady happy is to decode and present her with her fantasy. Let me make this easy with the following example:

A common fantasy women have is that their partners would openly express their love for them. Women like to show-off every now and then, so if you help her create a show off, and you are sure to make her day. Send her flowers, chocolate, or a gift while she is at work or with her friends (don't wait for Valentine's Day to do this), and you've created a show for her. Don't forget to include a note stating how much you love her!

Next time you see her you would just marvel at her show of love and appreciation. Now, it's time for some thinking, I bet she probably never told you that she would love it if you made a 'show off' for her, but see the results! Could you just imagine the many other secret fantasies she has, and how helping her fulfill them would radically improve your relationship? It's time to discover ...

Four Steps to Meeting Women at the Gym

The other day I was at the local gym when I caught sight of one of those A+ little cuties that make you forget how much weight you just got done pumping. I reflected on how the gym represents a kind of "so-near-yet-so-far" deal when it comes to meeting women, because while they may be right there prancing around covered in sexy sweat the environment never really seems appropriate for flirting around as it does in a nightclub. People are in a different frame of mind at the gym and often broadcast a variety of non-verbal "stay away" signals that only the boldest dare challenge. So this deal probably requires a more studied and subtle approach to pull off.

However, after a little experimentation and some intense pondering I think I may have identified a few nuggets hiding amidst this apparent wasteland, such as:

1) If they are locked-up in their own little i-pod universe, they are most likely out of reach as far as a DIRECT approach is concerned. I-pods and portable radios are by far the biggest obstacle to socializing in the gym. How do you break through to these chicks who are encapsulated in their own little world of sound and obviously trying to lock the rest of us out? You can try saying something clever to them, and if they see your lips moving will usually tear the headset off and ask "what?", but their annoyance at having to do so is apparent and this immediate negative posture is not easy to overcome.

About the only non-intrusive thing you CAN do is make solid eye contact wherever possible and quickly shoot them a friendly smile, without actually saying anything (since she can't hear anyway). If you get a good return look from her then you may have a play, but I usually store these up and wait to act on a similar positive read next time, not immediately. Again, I think patience is needed here because women seem easily put off by intrusions into their mental workout zone -- so you have to sort of wear these barriers down first in order to set them up for a possible move later on.

If you can pull a favorable eye contact reaction like this on future encounters, then a bit of stop-and-chat might be in order and will certainly seem less offensive since the girl's given you some cause to open a conversation with her. Women know precisely how to use eye contact to either chill-out or lure men towards them, so learn how to follow their signals. While this laid-back sort of "ticking" action might be a little too flim-flam for some of the more impatient among you, if you're looking to protect your ego and operate "without embarrassment" as much as possible then watching for these subtle signals is the best way to improve your chances of not getting blown off in public.

2) Have one loaded in the chamber and ready to go at all times. Your chances with women at the gym will almost always seem to arrive out of the blue... an encounter at the water cooler or maybe while waiting to hop aboard a certain machine you need next in your routine, etc. So if you're serious about doing this stuff then you need to have something along the line of a Custom Compliment all figured out in advance and ready to use as an icebreaker for each and every woman that you might possibly have any interest in. That's right, each one... so keep your radar antenna always out and start paying attention!

For instance, if you observe a chick who warms up with an elaborate floor routine that's focused on her abs, then make note of it. Watch the routine closely and spot something unique like a certain move she does or the extreme number of reps or whatever AND REMEMBER THAT. Link it up with something specific about that girl (give her some private, cutesy name like "ab-work Annie" in your own head) to form a mental association, and then file this scrap of info away into your memory bank. Some of you will be better at this than others, what can I say? Gradually try to do this with every girl that looks worthy of your attention and slowly build up a catalog of astute observations in your mind that go along with each one.

Then... when you finally DO get a chance to trade a few words with one of these cuties, rather than stumble and bumble around trying to say something amazing you'll have something cool and impressive already locked-and-loaded into your skull: "I saw your floor set the other day and I was amazed by your ab routine. You show off the results amazingly well..." you casually flirt with her, "...any chance that you could take me through side-by-side and show me how it's done? I've hit the wall on my old routine, I need a change-up." And so there you've served up a nice little personalized compliment that's relevant to the situation AND to her -- and is immediately working to spark her up with some genuine admiration. Plus, your remark makes sense to her in this particular situation -- it's not just some canned line.

This is how the High Status Male makes his powerful first impression!

Now you've made a friend that you can engage on a first name basis (you remembered to get her name, right?) whenever you see her around the gym in the future. And if the vibes (eye contact, smiles, her laughing at your dumb jokes, etc.) look good, then at some point it's perfectly reasonable to step up and escalate for a get together outside of the gym... right?

This is sensible, appropriate, measured and steadily escalating aggression. Non-aggressive males get nowhere with women. Remember that.

3) Spinning is often the best thing going at the gym because it's the closest thing there is to a nightclub-like environment... the lights are down and the dance music is thumping away. The high-cardio spinning pumps up the same adrenaline and other juicy-juices in the body that dancing does -- and you know how crazy women are when it comes to dancing!

Of course, spinning classes and aerobics present the same type of problems that clubs do in that the noise and "action-distraction" levels make it hard to connect with anyone on anything other than a wholly superficial level. But you may have a chance to talk with her during the warm-ups or cool down after the class ends. Have you got that custom compliment all ready to go?

4) It's going to take repeated tries to break through. Because people are not really in "the mood" in this environment it's tough to create a real buzz on a first meet. It may take a few encounters to get her thinking about you in a romantic sense, if at all -- and so you have to play it cool. Pay her attention when it's appropriate to do so, but never slavishly. Certainly a fine line has to be walked here. Remember that the EYES tell the whole story when it comes to women... when your instincts tell you that you have an interested female nibbling on your line, then that's the time when you must surrender reason to those instincts and take action.

This stuff is not rocket science, it's really all about specific awareness plus some motivation.

Let's face it, gyms will probably never be the ideal environment for meeting women, but these simple ideas may give you a better chance to make a play in a poor situation now and then. The way to view this entire deal is to welcome whatever opportunities you can stir up in the gym as an ADJUNCT to your other social activities -- not as your saving grace or the one place where you're exclusively hanging out to meet women.

Because there are far easier ways and means to get an edge, as we'll discuss in future articles.

Female Attraction Secrets - 4 Secrets of Attracting Women To YOU

Have you ever felt like women were keeping a "secret" from you? That they were leaving something out of what they really are looking for in a man? Well, a lot of men kind of feel this way, so you are definitely not alone on this. And to tell the truth, it's easy to see why you might feel like this. I mean, it's not like a woman will hand you detailed instructions on how to attract her, will she?

No, she will not. It's up to you to discover what attracts a woman, and what you need to do to make her find you attractive and the kind of man that she wants to date. Wouldn't it be nice if you could somehow find a way to start attracting women to YOU?

Here are 4 secrets of attracting women to you that should be a little help:

1. The way that you carry yourself will say a lot to a woman.

It's not just about the body language. It's the confidence that oozes from you, it's the charm that you seem to have, and it's the charisma that will get her to want to get to know you. When you carry yourself like a guy that strikes out a lot with women, guess what happens? You strike out a lot more. However, if you change the way that you carry yourself, you can change your results with women.

2. You have to become a natural talker when you are with a woman.

Just think how boring and dull it would be for her to meet a man that seems to be what she is looking for, only to find that he bores her to death with his idle chit chat. You need to be able to "hook" a woman with your conversation, so that she finds herself almost compelled to want to hear more and more from you. There's nothing that will kill the sparks with a woman quicker than not being able to hold a conversation that interests her.

3. You need to make it apparent that you are interested in her, just not too much.

Look, you could try and play the whole hard to get thing and still lose out on a woman, because if you appear to be too hard to get, you can actually come off as just not being interested at all in her. You have to have a balance here, or else it will end up not working out in your favor. If you think that she will turn away because you show a little interest, think again.

4. You have to be presentable.

You don't have to wear the latest fashions and look like a guy that spends a lot of time at the mall shopping. But, you do want to appear presentable, because a woman is not going to say to herself, "wow, he looks like a total bum, I like that." Well, to be truthful, there might be a few that are into that whole look, but really, most are not.

How to Meet Women in College: Single and Ready to Mingle

There are three absolutely awesome things about College that make it exciting to meet and eventually date women:

1) A lot of cultural norms are already PREDEFINED by tradition, and that makes what women do in college absolutely PREDICTABLE. When I was in college, one of the big things were the Basketball games especially the ones scheduled against our rival school. There was also the nearby mall where you could drink, hang out and grab a Starbucks, and you've got a nearby 18 and up club where kids partied.

THAT MEANS – conversational topics are way easier than for grown ups, who after college are tossed in this crazy place called "the real world." As long as you're in college, the predefined norms, like rival basketball games, places to eat, places to discover, groups to join, events to attend, who the hottest guy/girl is, are basically what everyone's talking about.

2) Women in College are easier to talk to because of their hunger for a bigger social network, a diverse amount of friends and acquaintances, and again, the predefined social norms.

3) Unlike high school, where there are a lot of "cliques" and "tribes" in a smaller space, College is huge. College life ENCOURAGES joining as many cliques and tribes as you can, and most have pretty much equal social statuses. In high school, you usually just had the cool kids and the non-cool kids. In College, there are lots of things that are cool – sports, music, the arts, even debating – so it's not like your rise in status won't happen. You have to want it though.
Take the Rolodex Out

It's time to start remembering faces and names, because that's what makes a Social Butterfly a master of his domain. You have to know the little details, like "when her next game is" or "what class she hates the most" or "who she's rooting for in the semi-finals" or "what her favorite album is."

A Social Master in College who knows the value of small talk, and its not just low quality small talk, its HIGH quality small talk – be the guy who remembers things like her pet name for god's sakes. No other guy would remember that, would they?

Write this stuff down if you have to. Target key women in social groups your engaged in and get the details.
Meeting Women in Class

THE RULE IS: Strike first, strike fast, strike hard.

The first day of college is the most crucial part in instantly defining your college social life.

How early or late you arrive, what cologne you're wearing (if you've got any on), what clothes do you have on, who you talk to first, where you position yourself in class, is very important.

Most men find it hard to talk game to a woman during class because they don't come early enough to plant the seeds. Look, some courses are tough as nails, so once the professor gets on it, you're 95% screwed. The only way to get her attention from there is to participate in class discussions a lot and heck that doesn't even guarantee anything. So, don't attempt to meet women during class.

What you want to do is COME EARLY and STAY LATE. It's a very simple trick in the book like many of my strategies that's gotten me two girlfriends for the two courses I majored in College. In large groups, like in a class, whoever speaks up first and "connects" groups together is the leader of the group, and we all know that the leader is the one women want.
Social/Academic Groups: the Do's and Don'ts
DO NOT:

Join College groups just because you want to meet women.

Join too many groups to where your identity becomes confusing (like a skateboarding, ballroom dancing, debating science lab intern)
DO:

Join College groups that will make you stand out.

Join College groups that LOVE to party or host house parties.

Join College groups that have multiple reaches and allied groups.

Time to Be Hungry and Get your Chatter On

Look, I had the best time when I was in College. I had the cool girlfriend, an acquaintance here and there greeting me on every corner of the campus, different cliques I could make a pit stop on to say what's up, and a lot of people pulling me several different directions because they wanted me to go to their events. The number one attribute I had to get this, was that I was HUNGRY and I INITIATED CONVERSATIONS.

So go out there and start dominating your campus.

What to Do If You Think It's Going Badly

What do you do if you think a date is going badly? You probably first have to decide if it's going badly because of something you're doing or saying or if it's something he's doing or saying.

If it's you, you can attempt to rectify things. If you're talking too much you can try to calm yourself down, breath a little, and think of a question to ask your date and then allow him or her to talk without interrupting. If you're looking like you're not interested, look interested. Stop looking past your date's face as he or she talks and make some eye contact. That can be hard if you're a little shy and this is a first date. But just do it! Your date will think you're not interested if you appear to be paying no attention to what they're saying.

Turn your cell phone off. You're just being rude if you're answering your phone or texting. Are you starting conversations about controversial topics or topics that are so boring that your date couldn't possibly be interested? Nobody except your best teacher friends want to know about what papers you graded and what your students got on them. No first date wants to hear about your menstrual cramps or Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Maybe you're a left wing liberal. That's all well and good but not on the first date.

In other words, if the first date is going down the tubes and it's your fault, try to rein yourself in and turn things around. Now if the date is going badly and it's your date's fault, that's another story.

Be a little considerate. If you think he's a little shy you might want to try to draw him or him into conversation about things in which he's interested, once you figure out what those things are. If he starts talking about something that's controversial to you, and you like him well enough to overlook it, change the subject.

Sometimes, though, there isn't much you can do. Some people like to have an "emergency caller." If you're going this route, don't turn your phone off until you're sure you're happy and safe on your date. An emergency caller is someone who will call a half an hour or so after the start of your date. Maybe it's your mom, sister or best friend. When you answer the phone you can say something that let's your date know that you have to leave right away. This really isn't the nicest thing to do and should only be used when you're a little afraid of your date because he's odd or threatening or you're so annoyed that you might become odd or threatening!

If the date has just totally gone south, and there's no getting around it, just try to wait it out. When your date calls to ask for another date (should that happen – and it might), thank him or her and say that you didn't feel like you had anything in common.

Love Actually

February is inarguably my favourite month in the year. As they say it a month of love and friendship. Its a time that many people choose to get married or celebrate love. 'Love' is a necessary evil or a drug that all of us can't live without. I call it evil as the pain and hurt that comes along with love is unforgettable and unmatched. It is a drug because once you are loved you would always want to be loved.

Our journey of love starts when we are born or even before we are born. Everybody around us just seem to be so in love with us when we are babies. Our need to be accepted in our society and a group of friends is our addiction to be loved by all.

So what does love actually mean in the present times? Has the definition of love changed over the years? Can one choose to fall in love with the person they want to or does love happen the old fashioned way. Love scientifically is a chemical reaction in the brain that releases some so called happy hormones that make you feel good... n blah blah blah! So does love really happen this way in today's times. I say it really does for some. It did for me. People these days choose who they want to fall in love with based on their social standing, financial background or any other fringe benefits that come along. Materialism has become the key. The question undoubtedly is love actually for love or money? It is a choice that many have started making. I have heard many say that let's face it love can't feed you only to end up in loveless marriages. But that's not the case always. An alliance may end up getting you much more than just love, if you know what I mean.

When you are courting somebody, love is all important. One feels attractive, special and beautiful. But as time passes by all these feelings tend to take a backseat, once it culminates into marriage.One tends to take love for granted. Marriages often put a pressure on relationships with societal and cultural obligations. Love somewhere gets lost in fulfilling those obligations. If it does not end in marriage an alliance generally dies its own natural death. Though some may disagree and say that there is a middle path called the 'live-in-relationship'. It's a way for some people to enjoy the best of both worlds without having to commit a lifetime to one another. Well there can't be anything wrong with that unless it's just commitment phobia in its new and modern avatar. Love and happiness coming through any door or window is sure welcome.

As much as important falling in love is, protecting and nurturing it is equally important. Love makes you feel happy and content. It takes you into a world that has no place for tensions and all you feel there is bliss. Nothing in this world should be more important than this four letter word, not ego, not land, not power and definitely not money. Whether its love for your spouse, your children, your family or a passion to serve the society, nothing should stop you from embracing it. Love actually... is irresistible.

Comfort in Relationships

Those you will find to be better off in relationship are folks that are at ease within themselves and the partner God has given them. The next important thing to them is usually to bring out the best in such partners for a better life for both of them in the relationship and what will come out of it.

The moment we set out for a relationship with the opposite sex, our quest should equally be to ascertain what exactly we are out to achieve in such relationship, as God is never in support of unholy union at any excuse. What are we in relationship for? To some, it is just for the fun of it. But for better end, it is most important to set out for the good in relationship than for sensual ends.

One witty saying that has remained with us for sometime now is that "as you lay your bed, so shall you lye upon it". By implication, you are likely going to enjoy or endure whatever becomes of your love life. No wonder, the holy book admonish the wise ones as follows, "guide your heart... because, from therein flows the issue of life" (Prov. 4:23) your heart is described as the spring of issue of life, what needs more to be said?

Love is one of the issues of life that may flow out of your heart even before you are rightly prepare for it, or when your maturity is yet to arrive at tandem with your chemistry. Nevertheless it's part of the mystery of existence that opposite sex will sort one another out and fall in love.

Find the Land of Love - How to Be the Girl He Falls For

Have you ever noticed that guys take longer to fall in love? Have you tried so hard to get a guy to fall in love with you that you ended up losing him in the end? Do you desperately want to know how to get a guy to stick around long enough to love you? This article will help you answer your questions about men and love.

Men and women just simply think differently about love. When it comes to emotional investment, men take a little longer to catch up with women. Often, women give up on waiting for a man to fall in love. If only they knew that if they had held on just a little longer, they might have stuck it out. Knowing what he is waiting for and why he is waiting is key in finding that loving relationship you are looking for.

Part of the problem with dating today is that men are confused about their role in the relationship. It used to be that men knew they were supposed to be the pursuers and protectors. They understood that they were the ones who were to chase, be aggressive, and safe keep the women they wanted. Today, this is a very different story.

Women now have the same jobs as men. They make the same income as men. While all of this may be good and well, this "strength" has bled over into the dating arena. Women are the aggressors. Women are approaching men for dates and numbers. Often times, men are left wondering what exactly it is they are supposed to do in a relationship.

A completely independent self serving woman that can complete his role doesn't really appear to need a man in her life. However, the important fact remains that both men and women need each other to gain an ultimate sense of friendship and intimacy. How can we solve this problem?

It turns out that the traditional way of dating really worked out better than this new method. Each gender has specific emotional needs in a relationship, and men have a need to feel needed. They want to be the one to go after the girl. They also want to be the one that determines just how quickly the relationship progresses. Additionally, every man wants to feel like his girl's knight in shining armor. The following are some ideas in ways that you can help him meet his emotional needs and keep him falling for you.

Keep the relationship easy and free. Don't pressure or push the love issue. Definitely don't push marriage! If you come on too strong, he could feel too pressured and end up backing out.

Let him determine the time frame of love. It is okay to be open and honest about your feelings. However, if you sense him getting uncomfortable, back off a little. Odds are, you are more emotionally invested in the relationship than he is right now. That's okay! Give him a lot of patience and plenty of time and he will follow.

Create a loving and safe environment. Don't ever criticize his feelings. If he isn't where you are, be loving and accepting of what he does feel for you. If you create an atmosphere in which he feels safe to be himself, his love will bloom.

Enjoy the relationship the way it is right now. Instead of constantly hoping for a ring and wedding bells, enjoy the time that the two of you are spending together right now. Over thinking the future will only make you anxious and impatient. However, if you are enjoying the relationship, so will he. The more time he spends enjoying being with you, the more likely he is to realize just how much he wants it to be that way forever.

Relationship Skill - What Does it Take For Relationships to Survive Over Time?

What is the state of your current intimate relationship? Are you joyously in love and thriving? Are you seeking desperately to meet someone who doesn't seem to materialize? Are you suffering in an unhappy and unloving connection? Or are you on the verge of breaking up, separation, or divorce?

Relationships, especially with our most intimate partners, can be difficult, frustrating, and disappointing. We meet someone who lights up our life, kindles the fire within us, and then we get intimately involved. Soon afterward, weeks, months or perhaps a few years, the fire seems to die down, we take a good look at who this other person is, and perhaps we don't like what we see.

It doesn't have to be like that. Relationships are actually a work in progress. But the easy part seems to be at the very beginning, in the heat of desire and lust and craving, when we see our partner with rose colored vision. We love what we see and we downplay what we don't want to see.

The second easy part of a relationship happens after two people have been together for a very long time. If their relationship endures despite many hardships, seemingly insurmountable conflicts, betrayals, infidelities, hurts, painful experiences, and even abuse, and the couple has managed to improve their communication and rekindle the romantic love, then there is a peaceful sense of comfort, ease and undying love.

But what happens in the middle phase, the time between the very beginning and the later years? This is where the term "long-suffering" wife or husband comes into play. Every relationship inevitably must face some deeply painful and trying times where suffering is all that seems to exist.

What does it take to persevere, to overcome, and to rise above the difficult and trying times? What does it take for a relationship to survive the test of time - and thrive - with love continuing to grow and deepen?

Research in economics and business teaches us what it takes to maintain motivation and drive on the way to success. Relationships work the same way. They require motivation and drive to succeed. The questions are:

* How do we elicit that drive and motivation and desire from our partner of many years?

* How do we maintain that drive and motivation within our own self?

The simple solution, but not very easy to accomplish, is to create a sense of flow in your relationship. This takes maintaining a purpose for your relationship, having the ability to persevere through tough times and the skill to deal with problems as they arise.